Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Calm down, i'm just 23

4.5years living in shanghai, at one of the world fastest growing city is the best decision I’ve made. I was just a high school graduate back when I decided it. I used to think that this earth revolved around me as the center. I was easily satisfied and never mind how the society is busy growing outside. But my main reason at that moment is that I don’t feel comfortable at home and I want to live peacefully by myself. My hometown gave me too many family issue that I hate. Living far away and looking for my own comfort zone gave me a fresh startup for my life.

Thanks god I was surrounded by enthusiast people in Shanghai. My environment has gave me a huge motivation, open up my eyes and contribute so much to the life path I’ve choose and the person I am today. Apart from the responsible as a college student, I was actively participate in student association inside and outside college. Knowing great people, learn to work in team, sharing ideas, developing things might looks simple but have polish me in many different ways. Each accomplishment teaches me to create things, solve problems, working efficiently, to gain power from others, work as a team, gain confident and trust in public. 

Thank you Fudan and KJRI to provide students a platform to grow themselves. And I personally would like to thanks Farand, who has been my motivator, the one who encourage me and given me a foundation to up grow beyond myself. I was a desperately lack of confident kind of person but he sees the good side of me and always tell me why I could do better than others. I never realize how I should appreciate him as I gain his trust without trying to pursue it. People said I would have taken him for granted. I admit I am way too selfish to received too much more from him that I gave him too less. It sounds bullshit if I said I didn’t do it intentionally. But, I will never forgot his support and care toward me as a crawling baby who is still lost finding her own way. I really appreciate that I met him in shanghai. I could be like this today all because of him. Sadly, I never have a chance to thank him genuinely, I regret not to treat him better when I’ve lost him. I hope one day he could read this and tell me what could I do to pay him back. Even though I have no courage to see him again in any time, but I genuinely want thank you Far.

Life was never stop learning back in Shanghai. The more I met people, the more I compare myself to them. The good point is I will never stop learning and find way to develop myself until I reach the same level with them. It brings me good but at one point it brings me bad. I was working hard between school and projects that I merely have time to relax with no weekends for months. Continuing meeting and planning until I get hospitalized once due to over tiring. Thinking back of it, it was funny yet accomplishing. I didn’t waste my time and any penny my family gave to send me abroad. Because in Shanghai, there are abundance of opportunities for you to try and fail.

I was 19 when I first work as a part time translator. Nervous of course. I was guiding a business man for a city tour and I won’t forget that I have him as my teacher and my mom who is on holiday that wait for me to finish work in the middle of winter. I was way more than blessed. :’). A business translator, exhibition assistant, travel guide, MC, dancers, association presidents, dance instructor, language teacher, assistance in office as an intern and many more, all these precious experience brings me cash and significant self-development. Just rewind back and I never thought I would have tried this much. I’m kinda and proud now haha.

I am grateful that by the time I left college, I was equipped with experiences on my CV and confidence on interview. That i am ready to join the society and bring the best of my self. Today at the end of February, I have been living in Bali for more than 6 months. I might encountered some twist while applying for job but I got a job at the end of my graduation. That is because I was panic, seeing my classmates were busy working on their future and having offer on their hand a year before our graduation. See, environment works precisely on me. I wouldn’t be rush if I were not between them.

My first official work was in the hospitality industry. I am totally clueless with Bali’s hospitality back then, I just throw my CV to all high rated hotel in tripadvisor. I looked kind of desperate didn’t i? My effort bring me to Ayana, a top listed resort in Bali as a guest relation. To be honest, I have no idea what guest relation is even after I finish my interview with the GM! But I know they are satisfied with my background and interviews.

Within these 6months, life was filled with ups and down, merry and anger. I like my job because I have the opportunity to learn directly from the executives, due to they need my language skill while handling big cases happen in the hotel. Meanwhile, as a front liner I represent the hotel, all my performance and words should resemble a five star resort. I learn a lot how to maintain calm and professional even when you are handling an annoying guest. I like my team, as they are cooperating and fun, with no colleagues stab back, I like working with them even they like gossiping others. I like the ambience of my office. There is obviously huge pressure for mandarin speaker in Ayana but I gain respect and appreciation from my team. Those make me worth the hard work.

But at one point, I am bored with it because I find it lacks of challenge, and I demand something more than that. I still have space to improve my job professionally as a guest relation, but I found no space for something new to learn. I might have been in my comfort zone now, but still I always compare myself to others professionally and financially. Perhaps I could say I am financially independent to make myself a living today. But not for the unnecessary needs I desire like travelling, shop anything I want. I still have limits and should control my expenses. I am not happy with that. I was told to struggle it a bit more as to master a field is not instantly gained in months. They suggest me 2 years, but it way too long for me. I set it to be 1 year. Now I am planning for the next career path and opportunity for myself. To be honest I still longing to live abroad with coat in winter. And for now, to ease myself I join a Japanese class. To tell that I am not wasting my time and on progress to learn something new.

Comparing myself with what others had achieve on my age is challenging and motivating. I feel alive when I am working hard finding way to grow myself to be better even though it is devastating at one point. I always feel so bad when I waste my day off doing nothing in my room just with Korean drama and phone. I felt I was wasting all the achievements I gather on my past, that’s not how I supposed to be. That’s why I always try to make myself busy and productive. Since college year, I grow up for almost 5years in a growing environment. I always had a thinking that I need to keep moving so I won’t get left behind. Friends and mom said I was way too rush and I need to slow down. I have been wanting more and keep chasing the pace others did. But perhaps, now I need to find my own pace in polishing myself.

Yesterday I read an article on facebook, it is a very good and inspiring read. It calms me down.

Work in your “time zone”. Your Colleagues, friends, younger ones might "seem" to go ahead of you. May be some might "seem" behind you. Everyone is in this world running their own race on their own lane in their own time. God has a different plan for everybody. Time is the difference.


Should I say, I’m already 23 or I’m just 23? Well, now I am trying to find my own pace and learn to embrace my time zone. Maybe that will do me better. well, at least today i didn't waste my day off :)




























22Feb 2017
@ Bali Bakery